Last week (more like 2 months ago), I dropped my firstborn off at kindergarten. With my 3 year old thinking she was in kindergarten, and with my 1 year old in tow, I helped him find his assigned seat. I hung around for a few minutes, and then it was time. “I love you. Have a great day!”
“No, Momma. Don’t leave. No!” He held onto my leg and cried. He never does that.
“I love you, but I’ve got to go. You’ll have fun.”
I peeled him off of me, walked towards the door, and left him crying in a room full of kids and a teacher he didn’t know. Tears filled my eyes. My heart ached…a lot. Was this the right thing to do? Should I homeschool him tomorrow? Should I enroll him in the private, half day school down the street?
I remember that feeling of being all alone. My parents dropped me off at college. I was in a
city, and I didn’t know a single person at my school.
I went to my dorm room and cried for about 5 minutes. It was short lived
because I knew college was going to be one of the best experiences of my life…and
it was. My hopes for G were the same. The parting would be difficult, by the
One week later, I don’t even walk him to his room. He jumps out of the car rider line every morning. Sometimes I get a kiss. “Hey Graham!” said a little girl with a Frozen backpack as he exited the car yesterday. He walked in with his friend. I’m used to accompanying him on play dates and knowing the moms and kids, but I only know this friend as Frozen Backpack Girl. And that’s okay. I’ve got to let him go.
He comes home from school telling me about the science lab and playing with the parachute in gym class. “It was AWESOME!” he yells. He tells me all about getting his lunch on a little tray. He asks if he can ride the bus.
It’s a long day without him here with me. I check the clock a lot. I wonder what he’s doing. I pray for his protection. I pray that he’s taught truth. I pray that when he isn’t taught truth, he will be able to distinguish it. I pray for good friends. And I wait for him to come home. And I trust. I trust a whole lot. I miss that kid like crazy, but I have faith that this is good for him and our family.